Waiting for the Unknown

As a mother, I completely devoted to my kids. They are my entire world and focus each and every day. Often times I worry and fret over fears that I have, and honestly I have the media to thank for those fears. All of the news articles about kids scares the crap out of me and the fear of something happening to my children grows in my mind. I know that majority of moms out there have those same fears. One of those fears is becoming more real than I would like these days.

Let’s start from the beginning, in September when I took Brooke to the doctor for a routine 5-year-old check up. She was healthy, growing, and perfect! Over the next few weeks, we started seeing a major change in her. She was moody, aggressive, angry, and not eating. The not eating is what scared me the most. She was eating a bite or two at meals including snacks. Brooke is a picky eater but she will eat especially snacks. This was not like her so in early October I called the doctor and requested her to evaluate Brooke. It had been 4 weeks since her well check up and Brooke had lost 6 oz. That’s not a lot so the doctor requested that we bring her back in a few weeks to recheck.

To My Amazement…

Brooke started eating again that night. She came home from the doctor and ate her first full meal (and even asked for seconds) for the first time in a month. I was so excited I cried. I believed that maybe I overreacted by taking her to the doctor. The next few weeks she was eating again, not everything I gave her but the majority of it. I chose to keep her follow up appointment on October 30 because I wanted to make sure she had gained the weight back. The doctor requested that she was fasting to do a blood sugar check that morning. Fasting for a 5-year-old is very difficult but she did it without complaining. The blood sugar results were completely normal for a fasting child, 86. Yay! We continued the appointment with the thought in my mind that she is doing great, no worries! I was just panicking before.

However, the doctor’s face did not match my excitement. Instead, her face showed a concern and seriousness that I was not feeling. She then told me that Brooke had lost an additional 2 lbs in three weeks. My mouth dropped and I responded with “But she is eating.” The doctor requested that we do additional blood work at a lab to see if there were any indicators of a problem. Basically, she has no idea why Brooke is not gaining weight. As a mom, this is terrifying! Your baby needs your help and you have no idea where to go, how to help. I managed to wait until I dropped her off at school that morning to start crying. I think I cried for an hour just completely lost and scared!

On Halloween, I took her to get lab work. Joel and I wanted it done as soon as possible to get answers. The sooner we got the results, the sooner we could help her and move forward.

It’s been a week now…

And we still do not have results. I have called the doctor to see if I can get some answers because the stalking that I have been doing to the patient portal, is not helping my fears. Unfortunately, the fears of three years ago, the moments of the unknown are beginning to haunt me again. I’m afraid of what we are about to face even though I have no answers.

Update*

We have received the results of the first preliminary tests which ruled out Thyroid, Diabetes, Celiac Disease and some cancers. The doctor is requesting a few more tests to completely rule out cancer. There has been no evidence of these symptoms but there really are no symptoms to give an idea of what is going on. We will be moving forward to meeting with a GI doctor for further testing.

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