Being a mom of twins is a blessing that tends to bring unsolicited conversations. My girls are almost five years old and in those five years, I have had some pretty awkward conversations with complete strangers. I feel like people flock to you when you have twins. It can be annoying at times.
Are they natural?
On countless occasions, while I have been out shopping or at events with my twin girls that I have been asked by complete strangers whether or not my twin girls are natural. My first instinct is to respond “Are you natural?” (or something along those lines). I realize that their question is whether or not my kids were created through in-vitro. For the record, they were not, it is genetic in my family to have fraternal twins. However, I do not feel that a complete stranger is owed any information on how my twin girls were conceived. If I had to use in-vitro or any other fertility support for my twins, wouldn’t that be a sensitive subject, one that is none of that stranger’s business. This is not a question that I have ever had asked when I am out with my son who is not a twin.
Are they identical?
This question follows the “are they natural?” question. This one always brings a good chuckle to me because if you look at my girls you know that they are not identical. One of my girls has light blonde hair with blue eyes. The other has darker blonde hair with brown eyes. They look different therefore they are not identical. This question is even funnier when a person asks if a boy/girl twins are identical. Seriously people! (shaking my head)
Let me share a little science for you, in case you don’t understand my sarcasm on this topic. Identical twins are when one fertilized egg splits. That egg split creating an identical egg in the same womb. That means that the two babies received the same x or y chromosome from the father, therefore they are the same sex. Boy and girl twins cannot be identical! Their anatomy doesn’t support that.
Are they a boy and girl?
When my girls were really little this was a question asked almost every where we went. Poor Brooke was often thought to be a boy by the general public. Out of politeness, don’t ask people if their baby is a boy or a girl. My girls were in pink or purple 90 percent of the time as babies. Maybe I’m wrong but most people do not dress their boys in pink or purple. Just a word of advice, look at their clothes first or don’t ask at all.
Two for the price of one
This one probably makes me the most annoyed out of any of the questions or statements said to us. So many people laugh and say “two for the price of one special.” You may be laughing right now thinking that it’s a cute joke but in reality, it’s not. I did not get a half price deal for having twins. Starting from pregnancy, twins cost more in general. You have more appointments, more ultrasounds, and usually more doctors. Then you move to childbirth which costs more just to deliver them. Then add their hospital care and yours, already you have surpassed the cost of a typical single child birth. This does not include the expenses of raising the twins. I am referring to the double strollers, two car seats for every stage; double the diapers, formula, food, and clothes. So in reply to the comment, two for the price of one…no twins are two for the price of two!
Irish Twins is Just Like Having Twins
I belong to several twin groups and this statement seems to really irritate the twin community. Irish twins are twins born less than a year apart. I want to say first of all that, that is hard. I completely understand that you are trying to say that it is hard to have multiple babies under the age of 3, or ages really close together. However, it is not like having twins. Twins are carried at the same time in your body. You have babies the exact same age, not months apart. There was never a point where you had just one with twins. I sympathize with parents of irish twins but please understand it is not the same.
Your Story of Twins
“My second cousin’s sister’s niece has twins…” Thank you for your story and I truly think it is wonderful that you know a set of twins. However, you are telling me this story as I am out with my twins, which means trying to be in and out of a place quickly to avoid as much drama as possible. I think it is sweet that people want to share their story with me but in reality, I’m trying to survive that outing. Any delay in our progress through that store can cause my girls to start throwing a fit or fighting. It’s a scene that I have seen way too many times and have no interest in experiencing at the store. Address their situation before telling them your twin story.
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With all the things that you could say to a twin mom, the best thing to say would be a compliment on how she is doing. Or just saying how precious her twins are. It’s hard work to be a twin mom and we are doing our best to raise our twins. These comments can be very frustrating to a twin mom.